TV Land

I just watched a great episode of Gunsmoke.  While that may not seem like such a biggie, it kind of is.  See, none of the televisions in my home are even on. 

Actually, I’m in our home office, wearing my Web Publisher hat, hard at work.

Fortunately no one ever said work couldn’t be fun. I certainly never said it!

Thanks to TVLand.com’s Full Episodes of Classic TV Shows, you can watch a wonderful episodes of Gunsmoke, Andy Griffith, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hogan’s Heroes any time you…well, as Festus would say… feel the notion to.  And, no commercials!

Because I’ve seen these classic episodes probably a dozen times each, I’m able to work on one project while the episode is minimized in another window, entertaining me - kind of like an amazing radio show.  When a scene comes along that I know I want to look in on, I do so.  When watching Gunsmoke, I’ll drop whatever I’m doing when Festus saunters into town.  I especially love his scenes with Doc.  Their scenes are classic in every sense of the word.

 Festus and Doc were at their best in the episode I watched/listened to today: 

Miss Kitty:  Triplets.
Festus: And there’s three of them, too.

 
Festus:  Why, they ain’t no bigger than a tater bug, are they?

Miss Kitty: Aren’t they beautiful?
Festus: Miss Kitty, babies is about the most wonderfulest thing there is, but as far as being looksome, ain’t none of these that could pass without pushing.

Festus: Well, this one here, he’s kind of looksome, that’s clear to see.

Doc: You gotta howl once in a while, let people know you’re around.

The episode’s titled “Baker’s Dozen” and you should click through to TVLand.com’s Full Episodes of Classic TV Shows and search it out as soon as possible. Pour yourself a tall glass of Iced tea or a mug of coffee and grab a saucer of cookies.   (Fans of Andy Griffith will get a huge kick out of the Judge in this episode - you’ll probably recognize him right off the bat.)

You’re closer to Heaven than you realize.  This is Gunsmoke at it’s best.  While there aren’t the expected gunfights or white hats vs. black hats - it’s something I enjoy even more.  An emotional, funny episode that focuses more on the lovable characters.

After all, they’re what made Gunsmoke the amazing show that it was.  And is, thanks to channels like TV Land!

I’ve been a Little House on the Prairie fanatic since the first time I laid eyes on Melissa Gilbert’s Laura Ingalls.  As a little girl, the LHOtP books were my favorite books, so when the series premiered, I was fascinated by watching these beloved characters come to life.

During the day, I still catch old episodes on tv, and I’m still as transfixed then as I was now.  There’s nothing quite like escaping to a whole other time with a group of characters you’ve grown up with.

One of my favorite episodes of all time (in fact, if I was pressed, I’d say it was my very favorite), Sweet Sixteen, aired this morning on the Hallmark Channel.  I sat, eating a snack and drinking my Diet Dr. Pepper as I relived Almonzo and Laura’s declaration of love along with their first kiss.

And in true “me” fashion, I teared up when Laura realized that Almonzo loved her as much as she did him. 

Great stuff!

Beautiful Melissa Gilbert, 44, is NOW playing Ma Ingalls in the musical Little House on the Prairie.  It, appropriately enough, kicked off this month in MInneapolis.  Is that cool or what?  Click HERE for more pictures and information.

Up for a little Little House Trivia?!

• Melissa Gilbert (Laura) is the youngest person to receive a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame.
• Melissa’s the half-sister of Sara Gilbert (Roseanne’s Darlene) and sister of Jonathan Gilbert (Willie Olsen).
• She has dated both Rob Lowe and Tom Cruise.
• She has been married to actor Bruce Boxleitner since 1995.
• In the last episode, The Last Farewell, they really did blow up the town! Michael Landon (Star and Producer) didn’t want bulldozers to destroy the buildings, soo he wrote a story which gave the inhabitants the chance to say farewell to their town themselves.  The only building left was the most important one - the schoolhouse/church.
• Alison Arngrim (Nelly Olsen) and Melissa Gilbert are best friends. 
• Alison Arngrim first tried out for the role of Laura - when she didn’t get it, she auditioned for Mary.  When THAT failed, she tried out for Nelly and was hired immediately.
• When they were filming the kissing scene for the episode I sat glued to this morning, Melissa’s mother (Barbara) was on the sidelines crying “My baby!” so much that she had to be consoled! Dean Butler (Almonzo) has said that the first kiss between them was so nerve-racking for everyone, that there were chaperones on the set to make sure nothing unseemly was going on. I wonder which one they thought would be unseemly!
• Melissa Gilbert recalls that Michael Landon (”Pa”) had a unique way of inspiring child actors to cry when it was required. Apparently he would work himself up emotionally, face her with his eyes full of tears and ask her, “Do you know how much I love you?” to which she would get all teary and emotional in response.
• Melissa Gilbert named one of her sons after Michael Landon.
• Johnny Carson was a long-time friend of Michael Landon’s.
• Victor French (Mr. Edwards) was another of Michael Landon’s closest friends.
• Alison Arngrim (one of the most underrated talents ever) often fainted on the set of “Little House on the Prairie” because where the show was taped ( California’s Simi Valley) frequently saw temperatures over 100 degrees.
• After the actor who portrayed her husband on Little House, Percival, (Steve Tracy) died from AIDS, Alison Arngrim became an AIDS activist.
• Matthew Labyorteaux (Albert) and Patrick Labyorteaux (Andy) were brothers.
• Matthew was born with autism and a hole in his heart.
• In 1992, Matthew and Patrick appeared before a House sub-committee to plead the case of runaways and raised $11 million for youth shelters across America. They also founded the Youth Rescue Fund.
• Jason Bateman (James Cooper Ingalls) and Shannen Doherty (Jenny Wilder) went on to achieve household name status.
• Little House on the Prairie ran from 1973 to 1984.  Actually thanks to stations like Hallmark and TVLand, it’s still running, and touching hearts, today.

Jed and Jethro are talking about a “fast” girl Jethro knew back in the hills:

Jethro:  Uncle Jed, she handed me a big old sugar cookie, looked at me and said, “Jehtro, if you had a choice between that cookie and me, which one would you take“.  Uncle Jed, that’s when I found out just how fast she was!

(Jed leans in close to hear the rest of the sordid story.)

Jethro: I had to run nearly a mile to get away from her with that cookie!

Jed Clampett: (shaking his head) Jethro, some day me and you got to have a long talk.

I made the mistake of watching an episode of Sanford and Son on TVLand one day last week while eating. Laughing nearly caused me to choke twice.  As a safety measure, I put the bag of Cheetos back in the kitchen.

The following exchange was the final straw:

Lamont:  Pop, you gotta stop going out everynight.

Fred:  I can’t stop, son.  You know Donna.  I mean, she’s young and attractive and when she wants to go out, I have to go or she’ll give me up for a younger man.

Lamont:  Now, that doesn’t sound like Donna.

Fred:  I know it doesn’t sound like Donna.  I don’t do imitations.

Soooo, did you see the TV Land Awards? Of course you did, you’re cool like that.

They were amazing! Lionel Richie and Vanessa Williams were in rare form. Lionel sounds as great as ever, and looks the same as he did years ago!

Vanessa Williams can absolutely do everything - she’s a great actress, a wonderful singer, she’s funny, gorgeous, and talk about style. Wow! She’s one of the few people that I think could pull off her own variety show, a la Carol Burnett. There’s just something about her chemistry with the camera….and audience, of course. She was the PERFECT choice for host.

Below is a short video clip of a few of the stars before the ceremony. Check out how great Sarah Gilbert looks. Sometime when we weren’t looking she grew from a cute little girl into a beautiful woman. She should be on some screen someplace - she’s too talented NOT to be.

For a lot more fun and coverage, go to TV Land.com’s TV Land Awards section. The videos are priceless.  Robert Verdi is someone else I could watch 24/7. He’s perfect on She’s Got the Look - entertaining but respectful.

Okay, beautiful readers, let me give it to you straight.  There’s absolutely no reason to put your television on any channel but TV Land today.  Starting at 9:00 (be sure to check your own local listings), their going to obliterate the competition.  Being the I Love Lucy addict that I am, I’m getting weak in the knees.  Get this:  Lucy will take over the channel for 7 hours - putting me in 7th Heaven!

When the Lucy Laughs end, TV Land will reshow the AMAZING premiere of their new reality show, She’s Got the Look.  If you didn’t catch it the first time around, you’ll most definitely want to see it this time.  It’s so well done, with a lot of style.

After episode 1 of “She’s Got the Look,” you’re in for more laughs with two back to back Beverly Hillbillies followed by some of the funniest Andy Griffith’s ever.

At 6:00, they’ll air “Hot Rod Ottis,” the one where Otis buys a car and puts the fear of God into Andy and Barney - who then put the same fear back into Otis!  The next Andy Griffith is just as hilarious - the title is “The Song Festers” - it’s the one where Barney thinks he’s a killer singer but Gomer comes  along and outshines him. 

At 7:00, Aunt Bee buys too much beef for the ailing freezer to handle, leading to headaches for Andy and laughs for the rest of us.  “Aunt Bee, call the man!“  At 7:30 is another of my favorites - “Divorce, Mountain Style!”  Any episodes featuring both Barney and the Darlings is one I don’t even blink during.  In this episode, Charlene wants to divorce Dud Wash and marry Andy.  Fortunately, Andy has Barney to help.  Except for one thing - he isn’t any!

After Andy and Barney finish up, there’s an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition followed by… wait for it, wait for it… Episode 2 of She’s Got the Look.  According to the promo, it looks like someone has a big meltdown.   TV Land caps it off (post-meltdown!) with about 4 episodes of MASH.

I’ve already got TV Land on and going here in my home office.  Lucy and Ethel are trying to find a way to get in on the trip to Europe.  Ehtel cracked me up - when it looks like she’ll be the only one who doesn’t get to go, she was extremely down trodden and says, “I don’t want to see Europe anyway.  It’s so old.”

This is going to be a great day!

I thought it’d be fun to do more TV Flashbacks on the blog, so I’ve chosen Friday’s to be the designated Flashback day. There were lots of great shows to choose from to launch Flashback Friday, and I’ve chosen one that never ceases to make me laugh: Roseanne.

I watched the series when it first aired and now I’m reliving the fun with my youngest daughter as we watch them in reruns. There are a lot of crazy weird things on tv right now - reality shows that are a little too real - it seems that sleaze, slime, and trash are waiting on nearly every channel.

I think that’s why classic comedies are more popular now than ever, people always have and always will enjoy a good laugh.

There’s no better way to escape than with laughter! The quote collection, below, will grow and grow - so check back every now and again as there may be a whole new set of bwa ha ha’s waiting for you.

Memorable Lines From Roseanne:

Dan: What happened to Jimmy? I liked Jimmy.
Darlene: So did Becky, until he dumped her.
Becky: He didn’t dump me!
Darlene: Get real, you hit the ground like a safe.

Becky: No one could eat this crud.
Dan: Hey, if you don’t finish your crud, you’re not gonna get any crap for dessert.

Dan: (In jail) I don’t have time for this.
Darlene: Oh, I think you do.

Roseanne: (after all the kids have left for school) Quick, they’re gone. Change the locks

Darlene: (to Roseanne) You told me David and Becky were going to be here. I didn’t realize I would be spending the afternoon with Drunken Hines.

Darlene: (when Sean tries to put his arm around her) Any part of you that touches me, you’re not getting back.
Roseanne: What have I told you about killing your brother in the living room?

Becky: All I have to do is count to ten.
Darlene: Don’t wear mittens. It’ll slow you down.

Roseanne: This is why some animals eat their young.

Dan: Okay, we have thirty minutes to make this house clean.
Darlene: Rub a Lamp.

Dan: Ah man, we’re screwed.
Roseanne: No Dan. We are so far beyond screwed that the light from screwed will take 1 billion years to reach the earth.

Roseanne: That is not funny! You’re grounded until menopause!
Darlene: Yours or mine?
Roseanne: Your father’s!

D.J.: Was I an accident?
Roseanne: No, D.J., you were a surprise.
D.J.: Oh. What’s the difference?
Roseanne: Well, an accident is something that you wouldn’t do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn’t even know you wanted until you got it.
D.J.: Oh. Was Darlene an accident?
Dan: No, Darlene was a disaster.

Dan: You’re acting like a crazed psychopath.
Roseanne: The voices in my head disagree.

Jackie: (after meeting the snobby new neighbor, Kathy Bowman) Maybe she was a little uptight.
Roseanne: A LITTLE uptight? Hey, man you couldn’t drag a needle out of her butt with a tractor.

Darlene: Oh, man. I feel like I’m the middle of a really bad after-school special.

Dan: Hey Roseanne. I just saw all the animals in the neighborhood running in circles, so I guess that means your mother will be arriving soon.
Roseanne: Hold the knife steady Dan. I keep missing my wrist.

Dan: (Dan is upset because Darlene is late coming home from a rock concert) I’m gonna go stand in the middle of the street so the first thing she sees when she pulls up is my head exploding.

Saleslady at a Perfume Counter: Do you know what the fastest way to a man’s heart is?
Roseanne: Yeah… through his chest.

Roseanne: Face it, Jackie, our family was screwed up. Which is probably why I got fat and you kept jumping from guy to guy.
Jackie: Yeah.
* long pause *
Jackie: Or maybe I just never found the right guy and you just never found the wrong doughnut.

Roseanne: What’s up? I smell fear. I love that smell, but what’s up?

Dan: Have you considered getting a gun for the diner?
Roseanne: Oh, there’s a great idea. A loaded gun in the same room as my mother and my sister. What if they miss each other and kill a customer?
Dan: Then they’ll have to reload.

Roseanne: You two are gonna be loving sisters like me and Jackie!
Darlene: Okay.
Darlene: (to Becky) I’ll sleep with every guy in town and you gain 400 pounds.

Roseanne: I can’t believe that I wasted 25 years hating you for something as stupid as a wedding, when there’s a real good reason to hate you. You’re a bitch.
Ronnie: I’m a bitch? Hah. I bow to the queen of all bitches.

Mark: (on why he didn’t hurry to get to the Connor’s house) I didn’t think there was a dinner time here. I thought it was just grazin’ 24 hours a day.

Roseanne: (to DJ) Son, I’m going to punish you so hard that they’ll throw a benefit concert for you.

Darlene: You guys think we don’t get your corny little sex jokes.
Roseanne: You kids ARE our corny little sex jokes.

Phyllis Zimmer: (discussing their affair in high school) Did Roseanne ever find out about us?
Dan: Yes.
Dan: (pointing to his teeth) False, false, crown, bridge.

Darlene: (Darlene and Becky try to get a later curfew) Mom, have I told you how nice you’re looking?
Roseanne: Thank you. Ten o’clock.
Becky: (to Darlene as they leave) Not nice, thin! Thin!

(Becky has carved a head out of meat at the diner.)
Becky: Guess who this is? “Darlene! Becky! My back’s itchy right in the cen-ter!”
Darlene: God, it’s mom. It’s mom tar-tar.
Becky: How long you think it would take to cook mom’s head?
Darlene: Two and a half hours at 350. I’ve thought about it a lot.

Roseanne Show Did You Knows?

Corn is mentioned or shown in every episode.

All three of Roseanne’s husbands (Bill Pentland, Tom Arnold, and Ben Thomas) made at least one guest appearance on the show.

Laurie Metcalf (Jackie) is one of Chicago’s most famous stage actresses.

Laurie Metcalf has appeared on Frasier, Malcom in the Middle, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and Without a Trace.

John Goodman (Dan) is a huge fan of the St. Louis Cardinals - I always did like him!

Sara Gilbert (who brilliantly played Darlene) is, of course, the little sister of Melissa Gilbert (Laura Ingalls Wilder). Sarah was on the show for nine years and was given time off to attend Yale University. She graduated with honors in 1997.

Click the link below for a great video on YouTube - scenes from an episode titled “Becky’s Choice.” Funny stuff! (I would post the videos here on the blog but the Roseanne videos don’t allow you to do so. Boo and Hiss.)  http://youtube.com/watch?v=awdRBmRPyIs

You HAVE to check out TV Land’s High School Reunion Web Site - you’ll flip over it. (http://highschoolreunion.tvland.com/)

More about the Site:

Break out those yearbook photos and get ready to relive the glory…or gory days of high school all over again as TV Land announced today the launch of an all-new user generated High School Reunion section of TVLAND.COM where users can upload photos, interact with others, share high school memories and much more. Available immediately, the site supports TV Land’s new original series, High School Reunion premiering on Wednesday, March 5, 2008 at 10:00PM ET/PT.

TVLAND.COM users can create a profile in the High School Reunion microsite to upload their favorite high school and current photos and choose an archetype that they think describes them best (i.e. the Jock, the Popular Girl, the Stud, etc.) — then and now. This completely interactive site also gives users the chance to vote on each others photos, search for classmates, post messages about their high school experiences, send profiles to friends and determine the winners of high school-themed online contests like “Best Prom Outfit,” “Most Improved” and “Best Shoulder Pads.” Also, each week one lucky user’s profile will be featured on-air in an episode of High School Reunion.

“Providing increased interactivity for High School Reunion allows TV Land viewers to reconnect with high school memories and have some fun with the past,” states Larry W. Jones, President, TV Land. “Our audience can readily identify with the people on High School Reunion and may even be inspired to rekindle past relationships or build upon current ones. Either way, this experience is highly relatable and definitely something our viewers will enjoy.”

I’ve been meaning to post about TVLand’s ingenius new series, HIGH SCHOOL REUNION, for weeks now. But, I must say that having the tag team of Bronchitis and the worst Flu known to man leaves one unable to do anything except pop Tylenol, sip tea, and pray for mercy.

Fortunately, mercy was sent and I’m back to myself. High School Reunion is such an amazing, imaginative idea, I’m just shocked that one of the so-called major networks hadn’t thought of it before.

The spellbinding first episode was a hit, and I’m not even the slightest bit surprised. The following is a press release telling about this success:

New York, New York, March 6, 2008 – Wednesday night’s premiere of TV Land’s newest original reality series, High School Reunion, scored impressive gains across key demos over the same time period last year. The new series, which reunites classmates from a Texas high school more than 20 years after graduation, gave TV Land triple digit gains across the network’s target demo, Adults 25-54, and double digit gains among the network’s core audience, Adults 40-54.

“The success of High School Reunion is a testament to the fact that you can create programming for people in their 40s and 50s,” states Larry W. Jones, President, TV Land. “Viewers who first came to TV Land for classic TV are now embracing contemporary programming alongside their favorite hits. Last night’s premiere is evidence that there is room for originals on TV Land.”

According to Nielsen Media Research, High School Reunion posted a 0.4/426,000 among A25-54, up+105% in rating and +113% in delivery over last year. The network averaged 735,000 total viewers, up +62% over YAGO, with a median age of 46. Among the network’s core A40-54 audience, the premiere earned a 0.5/260,000, an increase of +62% in rating and +69% in delivery over last year.

Additionally, TVLand.com experienced huge traffic gains to the High School Reunion microsite. During the 10 p.m. on-air premiere, daily unique visitors nearly doubled the previous hour, and after the show ended, uniques grew another +23% percent. In comparison to the previous day, the microsite garnered a +66% jump in traffic while all the cast pages generated triple digit gains. The number one page of the day on TVLand.com was a photo album taken by Kat, one of the High School Reunion alumni. Also, the site witnessed increases to the home page, daily schedule and message board pages. Page views were up +37% over the previous day, +86% over four weeks prior and +169% over the same date one year ago.

The six-episode series, executive produced by Mike Fleiss and Lisa Levenson (The Bachelor), is set on a sun-drenched multi-million dollar Maui estate and revolves around a reunion getaway for alums from JJ Pearce High, several of whom have not seen each other since graduating 20 years ago. Whether opening some painful wounds inflicted by the resident bully or rekindling old romances, the series gives viewers a front row seat to the emotional and compelling rollercoaster ride throughout its six-week run.

High School Reunion is a production of Next Entertainment in association with Warner Horizon Television. In addition to executive producers Mike Fleiss and Lisa Levenson, Drew Hoegl and Jonathan Singer serve as co-executive producers. High School Reunion enjoyed a successful three season run on the WB.

About Warner Horizon Television:

Warner Horizon Television is one of the entertainment industry’s fastest-growing television companies, specializing in the creation of scripted series for the cable marketplace, and primetime reality series for both network and cable. Founded in 2006, this second production entity allows the Warner Bros. Television Group to expand its programming offerings and explore creative options made possible under a new business model.

TV Land continues to build the ultimate entertainment brand on all platforms for consumers in their 40s and 50s. Armed with a slate of original programming, newly acquired classic and contemporary TV, hit movies and its redesigned website — TVLand.com — the network is uniquely positioned to superserve the first generation of Americans who grew up alongside television. The network’s program mix features original programming, popular dramas, sitcoms and westerns in a fun-filled, pop culture environment featuring a roster of popular shows including All in the Family, M*A*S*H, The Andy Griffith Show and Just Shoot Me!, which joined TV Land in January, 2008. In the coming months, the network will roll out a slate of new original series’ such as High School Reunion, She’s Got The Look, Family Foreman and The Big 4-0. TVLand.com, the network’s Emmy Award-winning website, is devoted to all aspects of entertainment including TV, music and movies and features full-length episodes, a movie trailer database and over a dozen radio stations. TV Land is now seen in over 90 million U.S. homes.

I love my TV Land as much as any channel on my satellite, so I’m thrilled they’re having such success with this innovative new series. I had seen it advertised during I Love Lucy (I pretty much never miss an episode), Andy Griffith (ditto) and Beverly Hillbillies (ditto, y’all) - and I knew it was something I’d be glued to. I was right!

If you missed the first showing, don’t worry - TV Land understands how busy our lives can be - they’ll be reshowing it. It’ll air this afternoon at 11:00 (check your listings - my 11:00 may not be your 11:00!).

I’ll be posting more about this series here on the blog, so be sure to tune in so you’ll know what the heck I’m gushing about!!!!